Chalk It Up to Johnny

Hers.

Confession time.  I suffer from a pretty severe fear of unnecessary nail holes, meaning I have a total inability in deciding what and where to hang things on the wall, which ultimately leads to some pretty bare walls in our house.  I’ve mostly hidden it from you all, thus far, but it’s time to come clean and fess up with picture proof.

Sigh.  Our dining room.  It is, by far, the worst offender.  I hung the beautiful painting Chris’ grandfather painted on one of the small walls by the window but, four years later, had still not made a decision on what to put on the largest wall above the buffet.  Now, for the big reveal… the corner of the dining room I’ve been avoiding to show you…

The walls haven’t remained empty all these years due to a lack of ideas.  About twice a month a light bulb would go off and I’d excitedely tell Chris all about my grand plans for that wall.  He’d nod and agree, I’m sure figuring I’d never commit and he was safe from any real work.

The real push finally came in the middle of my weekly “Fixer Upper” fix.  Anyone else obsessed with that show on HGTV?  It almost makes me want to move to Waco… until I remember suburbia already feels like the boonies to me.  In one of the more recent episodes, they framed a chalkboard for wall art in the dining room (see below).  Feel free to drool over those lanterns above the island with me as well.

Here’s a closer shot- ignore the creepy shot of the people.  While I’m confessing, I may as well share that this is a picture I took of my TV while this episode was airing so I would remember the idea.  I’d like to say this is the first time but it happens quite a bit… #nojudgments

Now while the idea of using a chalkboard for art isn’t novel by any means, there was something about the frame they used that got me thinking.  We had one pretty similar that we had scored for free a few months back.  I had used the mirror for something else and the frame had been laying around ever since.  I knew I had to find a use for it soon or else it would meet the fate of one of Chris’ garage purges.

The first decision I needed to make was whether or not I wanted this to be permanent.  While I love the idea of a chalkboard in theory, I have a few problems with it in reality.

1) I hate the sound and feeling of writing with chalk on a chalkboard.  Just thinking about it makes me shiver.  Yech.

2) I know way too many kids under the age of 10 (including two brothers with a sense of humor of about an 8 year old) to know that one look at a chalkboard and the art will be a distant memory.

3) I know myself enough to realize that I’ll spend a ton of time laying out what I want to say and how to write it that I’ll never want to erase it and start over.

So, the decision ended up being pretty easy- I was going to make a faux chalkboard with permanent art.

Next came the hardest part- figuring out what to write on it.  I filled up a whole Pinterest board of ideas and drove Chris crazy with showing him dozens of options on a daily basis.  Should I go with a food pun being that it’s in a dining room or maybe a cliche inspirational quote about homes, hearts, etc.?  I ended up deciding on song lyrics, something meaningful to us and something that could work in case I ever decided to move this into a different room.

And what screams “let’s dine in the fancy room” more than the man in black?  Well, maybe not, but one of Johnny Cash’s songs is pretty sentimental to us so the decision was made and away we went.

Now, get ready to have your mind blown.  This is seriously way easier than I ever expected it to be and I’m going to use this transferring trick all the time.  Once I finally figured out what I was doing and laid out the art, this took no time at all to complete.  Here are the six easy steps to transferring a printed image and pulling off a chalkboard look.

Materials Needed:

• Plywood
• Flat black paint (or chalk paint for erasable option)
• Fine tipped white paint pen (or chalk for erasable option)
• Chalk
• Ballpoint pen
• Printed piece of artwork
• Tape

Step One: Cut a piece of plywood down to the size desired and paint with flat black paint.  Again, I wanted something permanent but you could also do this with chalkboard paint if you wanted something erasable.  I ended up painting two coats for an even look.  I left it overnight to dry completely.  Pre-paint tip: sand the plywood thoroughly for a smooth surface- I used two different grit sandpapers to achieve the smoothest finish.

Step Two: print out your artwork.  You can print it on any printer- black/white, color, laser, inkjet, anything.  I wanted a pretty big piece so I had to print my artwork in a panel fashion then tape together.  If you want to be really fancy, you can print it on one oversized piece of paper at a copy shop but paneling and piecing together works just fine- you’re not keeping the paper anyway.

Step Three: With the side of a piece of chalk, rub the back of each piece of paper and retape it to the board in the final pattern desired.

Step Four: With a ballpoint pen, trace the lines of the artwork.  Press pretty hard so the image transfers clearly.  I used a red pen so I could see where I had traced.

Step Five: After tracing the full piece, remove the paper.  You’ll see faint white lines on the board that will serve as a guide for this step.  Using a fine tipped white paint pen (or piece of chalk if you want to keep it erasable), trace over those transfered lines for a clear image.  Tip: I removed the papers one by one and did this in stages so I didn’t accidentally smudge the lines with my palm as I traced.

Step Six: You’re almost there!  To make it really look like an authentic chalk board, rub the side of a piece of chalk across the board and smooth with your hand for the chalked background effect.

Boom.  Chalkboard art!  I really don’t know why I waited so long to do this.  This was seriously one of our easier (and quickest) projects!  It makes me want to do it again… and again… Hey, Chris, what do you think about a full wall of chalkboard art?  Muhaha.

His.

Confession time. I hate country music. Actually, that’s not much of a confession. Anyone who knows me knows that, as Joe Dirt would say, “I’m a rocker, dude, through and through!”  It all sounds like twangy complaining intertwined with shout-outs to step mommas, guns, and trucks, and I find it really irritating- the exception, of course, is Johnny Cash. While I’d consider his style more in line with rockabilly, he is widely regarded as the godfather of country music, and he’s one of everyone’s favorite artists. In fact, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like at least one Cash song, and frankly, I wouldn’t trust anyone who didn’t.

The song he is most renowned for is, by far, Ring of Fire. While there is some controversy surrounding when, why, and by whom the song was originally written, there is no question that it’s proven to be one of the greatest and most unique love songs ever written. And it’s awesome. So when Julie came to me with the idea that it be immortalized in our dining room, I was totally on board.

Now, here’s the problem: she wanted to do a chalkboard. Last time we did a chalkboard we ended up going for a ride on the failboat, so I was hesitant to give in. After some debate, though, we decided that since we wanted the piece to be permanent and only look like a chalkboard, we could get away with using regular paint. The best part of this project, though, is that Julie had saved an old frame from some other project that had gone awry (why, I’ll never know) and we were finally going to get it out of the garage (it had only gotten in my way EVERY time I tried to do ANYTHING in there)!

Now, making a fake chalkboard is actually pretty easy. The frame originally housed a mirror and had a piece of plywood over the back, so I just pried off that piece and cut it down to size to fit inside the frame. Next, I primed one side and painted it black. We had some weird amalgamation of various sheens of black paint that we decided to use, and we BARELY had enough for two coats… but since the whole thing was getting smeared with chalk anyway, we figured any thin spots would be covered up.

The final order of business, once the art was actually transferred onto the wood, was mounting the wood in the frame. Since the wood was actually a different thickness than the mirror had been, we weren’t able to reuse the same mounting tabs. So, being the lazy fellow that I am, I just ran some short screws into the backside of the frame overlap:

Boom. Fake chalkboard.

After.

 

 

Hers.

I’d like to say I’m on the path to “empty wall syndrome” recovery but I have quite a few walls left to go.  At least one room has finally been conquered.  And here’s a fun picture I dug up.  Here’s where the room started when we first bought the place (the furniture in the picture was the seller’s before we moved in).  And for those of you who haven’t heard the story of that fabulous leopard print/black fringe chandelier, catch up here.

Trash Talk

Hers.

It’s time to get trashy in the kitchen, people.  No, not as in “let’s decoupage the cabinets with faces of kittens.”  I’m talking about the age old kitchen question of where to stash the trash.

On day 1 of move-in, we put a trash can on the end of the kitchen counter by the breakfast nook and there it stayed for the next three years.  Not that we loved it being the first thing anyone saw when entering the kitchen, but we just had no idea where else to put it.

For a small family unit of 2, we go through a lot of trash, even after sorting recycling.  There was the option of downgrading to a smaller can to put under the sink or in the pantry but I knew we’d never have a successful marriage because I’d be saying, “Chris, can you take out the trash” more often than “Honey, can you take care of dinner tonight?”… (which is already pretty common).

I found the perfect solution while perusing Pinterest the other day.  Why yes- let’s just build a pull-out trash cabinet!  I could find a medium-sized trash can and just tuck it away behind a cabinet door when I didn’t need it.  Genius!

Source: Schrock 

Source: Houzz

I even knew exactly which cabinet I could sacrifice for this purpose too.

This cabinet never had an interior shelf and was an odd size for normal kitchen storage but would be the perfect space for a hidden trash can!

I knew it was meant to be because we even had a pair of drawer slides leftover from our pantry project (catch up on the pantry project here).

We purchased the drawer slides for $5.99 each here (they’ve worked perfectly on the pantry since we installed them nearly 2 years ago, by the way.  We highly recommend them as a super cost effective solution for pull-out shelving!).

With the solution in mind, I turned it over to the execution department (hm, maybe another term is in order so it doesn’t sound like I turn our projects over for beheading).

His.

Growing up, there was a constant battle between my parents about where to put the trash can: my dad wanted it in a convenient area in or around the kitchen, but my mom wanted it completely out of the house. Their compromise was to keep it in the laundry room, which was technically halfway between the kitchen and the back door. Somehow, though, the battle ensued once again after I moved out, and the trash is always in a different location every time I visit.

Fortunately, though, Julie and I never had such a conflict; we both tend to be a bit lazy, so keeping the trash anywhere outside of the kitchen was definitely not an option. There also wasn’t really anywhere in the kitchen to keep the trash can, so… out in the open it stayed. We did, however, put another trash can in the garage so that we could dispose of the “funkier” items so as not to stink up the house. This system worked quite well for about three years until one Saturday afternoon, the inevitable happened: Julie changed her mind, and now she wanted somewhere to hide the trash. Lucky me.

It turns out, though, that luck was actually on my side for this one, as Julie had already decided where she wanted it and I already had everything I’d need, which was really just some wood and some sliders, all of which I had leftover from previous projects.

The first step was to get the sliders mounted inside the cabinet. I cut some strips out of plywood (I needed thin wood) and screwed it to the inside walls.

Next, I mounted the sliders to the wood, making sure the two sides were level and even with each other:

Next, I cut down some 1/2 x 4 wood pieces and mounted the inner slide piece to them:

Initially I tried spacing everything out and making a box so I’d have a cross piece to mount to, but it turned out to be a huge pain to get the widths right, so I gave up and removed the front and back piece, and just mounted the cabinet door directly onto the sliding wood pieces.

Once everything was done, we had an issue of the door slowly sliding open when it began to become weighed down with trash, so I needed some sort of latch that was easy to open but also stayed out of sight. My solution was a magnetic catch, which was just a metal tab mounted to the door that would stick to a magnet mounted inside the cabinet:

Next, I reused the original cabinet pull and just lined it up with the drawer pull above it:

Then I had to patch and paint the holes from the old pull location and nail gun:

Boom. Trash cabinet.

Materials Needed:

• Drawer slides, $5.99 from eBay
• 1/4″ Plywood – 2 strips, already had on-hand
• 1/2″ x 4″ Lumber – 2 pieces, already had on-hand
•  Magnetic catch, $1.28 from Home Depot

Price: Since we already had the wood leftover from previous projects, this came out to a grand total of $7.27.  Not too bad for some trash.

After.

Now you see it.

Now you don’t!

Four Trips Around the World

Hers.

What’s black, white, and chic all over?  That would be my new globe!  Before I go much further, I need to issue a warning to my former geography teacher: if you happen to stumble upon this post, please skip it.  Some funny business may be about to happen to an old globe.  No globes were necessarily hurt in the process, just altered… slightly…

But let me start at the beginning.

Now that we’re slowing down on full-on room makeovers, I’ve been more focused on accessorizing.  Sometimes, I get overwhelmed by finding things that both fit our decor, fill the space needed, but also don’t just look like I raided all the shelves of Home Goods for a generic look.  Don’t get me wrong- I love me some Home Goods but it’s hard to find unique, one-of-a-kind pieces in a box store.  That’s why I’ve been trying to outfit our home with both the new and old to give it that truly lived-in, home-y feel.

To help fill the “old” criteria, I’ve been loving the non-traditional look of black and white globes lately.  It transforms a classic school room item into chic looking decor.

I especially loved the idea of a chalkboard globe, especially with chalkboard’s newfound popularity.

Source: Pinterest

Source: Domayne 

I found these two retail options- one from Z Gallerie (non-chalkboard) and the other from Anthropologie (made of soapstone for a chalk option).

Source: Z Gallerie, $79.95

Source: Anthropologie, $368 

Hmm… a little pricey for a non-functional globe who’s only purpose is making a corner of my room prettier (former geography teacher- are you still reading? Seriously, skip this post).

I figured this would be the perfect candidate for our next DIY.

I know some people have refinished globes and used them as a message board instead, but I actually like the look of all the continents on there so I decided to stay that route (see geography teach, I’m a half truest so not all is lost!).

I was pretty on-board with a chalkboard option… until our 3 year-old nephew was scheduled for a visit and we dashed around the house child-proofing as best we could.  In the midst of our impromptu safety check, I came to the realization that a chalkboard globe was doomed for being erased if ever in reach of anyone under the age of 13 (or with my luck, the cat would think it was her new friend and lick it clean) and the thought of redrawing all seven continents again sounded like a nightmare.  No thanks.  The more permanent, the better.

His.

I’m not much of a geography expert. In fact, unless they make a car or beer I like, I probably can’t find it on a map… which basically means I can only find Germany and Ireland. So when Julie announced she wanted a globe, I figured it would at least be a learning opportunity, so the search began.

Around the same time, my mom knew we were always on the lookout for cool antiques and was offering a few items she had picked up from my grandparents’ house, one of which was, rather conveniently, a globe. Apparently my great-grandfather was a teacher, and she had picked up the globe he had in his classroom. It was about at simple as you could get- it was round, resembled the planet earth, and had a stand that did little more than hold its axis on a tilt and allow it to spin… sort of- but it was all we were really looking for. I got my mom’s blessing to paint it, and now we had a project.

First of all, since we were going to paint it, we needed a way to redraw the continents after we painted over them. Granted, this thing was so old it still listed Prussia and the USSR as countries, but the continents have only moved a negligible distance since the 50s and Julie only wanted to trace the continents, so it was good enough. I’m so bad at drawing that I can’t even trace, so that part was left to Julie. I just had to spray it.

Since we were going to paint the stand differently than the globe, I had to find a way to hold it up to paint it. My solution? Cut apart and bend up a coat hangar and hang it from a tree in the backyard:

Pretty cool, huh? I wanted to do a scaled-down version of the solar system, but a) our entire neighborhood isn’t big enough and b) I have yet to find globes for the other seven planets. Bummer.

Anyway, once I got it strung up, I sprayed it with a coat of primer:

Now that I turned the Earth into the Moon, it was time for a few coats of black paint. We went with a basic flat black and since we weren’t convinced this would work out in the first place, we just used the cheap stuff from Wal-Mart.

Julie wasn’t particularly fond of me using her curtain rod to dry my globe:

Once it was dry, we just had to paint the continents back on! As I stated before, I can’t even trace, so that task fell to Julie as well.

Hers.

You know what’s more fun than tracing a full globe once?  Doing it twice.

Okay, so this was the more cumbersome point of the project but I just turned on Brother vs Brother on HGTV to distract me from the mundane task (anyone else watching that show and wishing they just filmed another series of Design Star instead?).

While you may already know they sell carbon transfer paper, did you know they sell white transfer paper?  This really saved the day on this project.  The regular carbon paper transfer would’ve gotten lost on the black paint so this did just the trick.

I taped the tracing paper I had originally traced the continents onto on top of the white transfer paper then taped that to the globe.  Be sure you have it taped in a few places so it doesn’t slip while you’re tracing it.  I found it helpful to trace each continent on its own tracing paper sheet then trace them on the globe one by one.  I also left myself guides when I ran out of sheet (i.e. Turkey goes here, or match up Spain here, etc).

Use a ball-point pen (color doesn’t matter) to trace the image.  Push hard on the pen so as you need to go through two layers- the tracing paper and the white transfer paper- but don’t push so hard that it tears the sheet.

Getting up close and personal with the world even taught me a few things in the process:

• I forgot how close Russia and Alaska were to each other.  I mean, I know Palin can supposedly see Russia from her house but, really, she probably can!
• Greenland is massive.  I mean seriously, that country practically took up it’s own transfer sheet.

Here’s an example of what the transfer looks like on the globe after tracing it.

Now to make it more permanent.  The best tool for tracing these thin continent lines was a white Sharpie paint pen.  I used the oil-based paint version with a fine point, found at art supply stores.

Yay for tracing the world for a third time!  Seriously, time to enter me into a geography bee (hopefully they use a 1950s map).  Be sure to shake the paint pen and press the tip down a few times to test it before going to town on the globe.

The paint was showing up a little thin on the first coat so I went over it a second time.  Yup, you counted right… I ended up drawing the world a total of four times.  Good thing a Brother vs Brother marathon was on… although, I’m seriously annoyed by that show.  For anyone else who watched it, was I the only one annoyed that the girl who worked her butt off despite having the flu didn’t even make it to the final two?  Also, how ridiculous was it that they wasted air time having the teams compete to see which house they would work on each week?  No one cares- just give them their assignment and let them start working.  Sorry, rant over.

With the fourth coat, we were done!  Finally!

For those of you wanting to recreate this project, here’s our list of materials:

• Flat black spray paint (the cheap kind from Walmart will do): $1
• Tracing paper (found at any art supply store): $3
• White transfer paper (found at any art supply store): $3 (with 40% coupon at JoAnn’s)
• White Sharpie pen, fine point (found at any art supply store): $3
• Old globe: ours was free
• Total cost: $10

Not too bad for $10 huh?  You can find cheap globes at flea markets and thrift stores so even if your awesome in-laws don’t have a spare one on-hand to let you experiment with, you can still do this project on the cheap.

After.

Loosen Up My Buttons, Babe

Hers.

Ah yes, this was my anthem for the second half of our headboard project.  Curse you Pussycat Dolls and your catchy lyrics that get stuck in my head for days!  For those of you up-to-date, you know our latest endeavor has been creating a winged, tufted headboard for the guest bedroom (for those of you needing to catch up, check out the project breakdown here).  You may also remember my oath to do this all without touching a sewing machine.

Well, I had reached the final portion of the project – covering the screws with matching fabric buttons.  We decided to take a day’s break from the project… and the day turned into a week… I’m sure you DIYers know how that goes.

The main source of my procrastination was the fact that I was waiting on my button making kit to arrive in the mail… okay, so maybe that only accounted for 2 days.  The other 5 days involved me dreading the creation of 67 buttons.  Yup, we had 67 screws to cover.  Yippee…  While the ultra-tall headboard makes quite a statement, it came with quite the price.  In the end it was worth it and I love the look, but for those of you with the same mindset I had of “the bigger, the better,” here’s your warning:

Big tufted headboards = a heck of a lot of buttons = a heck of a lot of work.

The process isn’t really that bad.  It takes about 1-1.5 minutes per button.  I sat and did mine while catching up on Real Housewives of Orange County because nothing makes dreadfully boring tasks like button making more interesting than a room full of overly-tanned, plastic-faced women screaming at each other.

So, here we go:  how to make fabric buttons without busting out the evil beast also known as the sewing machine.

First things first, you’ll need a button making kit, button shells, and button backs.  The least expensive option I found was a set from eBay for 100 buttons (buy extra because you’ll inevitably screw a few up).  I chose to buy size 24 (or 5/8″) buttons.  For those of you using the “tufting via screwdriver” method like we did, this size works great or you can go a little larger, depending on your preference.  For this method, I recommend buying flat backs (instead of wire backs) as you’ll be gluing rather than sewing it to the headboard.

Materials:

• Button making kit which consists of a pusher (the pink item seen bottom left) and a mold (the clear item seen on the bottom right): $2.99 from eBay
• Button back (seen at the top left)
• Button shell (seen at the top middle): this plus the backs are $15.99 from eBay for a set of 100
• Fabric swatch
• Scissors
• Hot glue gun

Step One: Take the mold (the clear piece), placing the flat side down.  Put your piece of fabric over the mold.  Place the pusher (the pink piece) on top of the fabric (flat side up).

Step Two: Push the pusher (who would’ve seen that coming?) so the fabric is pushed down into the mold.  I gave the pusher a good twist too to really be sure the fabric was wedged in there.

Remove the pusher and you’ll see your fabric swatch is beginning to make the button shape.

Step Three: Place the button shell with the rounded side down, on top of the fabric swatch (still placed in the mold).

Step Four: Place the pusher on top of the button shell and push down.

When you remove the pusher, the fabric and shell should be lodged in the mold.

Step Five: Without removing the shell and fabric from the mold, trim the excess fabric from the edges.  Don’t trim it too close as you’ll need to fold the edges over the back in the next step.

Here you can see how much fabric should be trimmed.

 

Step Six: Next, fold the edges in, covering the back of the button shell and use the pusher to push it into shape.

Meet my best friend.  The hot glue gun.  In theory, you can use the pusher to push down the button back and it should pop in, securing the fabric in the back.  My fabric, however, was too thick to successfully do this so I found gluing the back on worked just as well.  If your fabric is thinner, you may be able to use the pusher instead and skip this step.

Step Seven: Use a hot glue gun to put glue on the back side of the button.

Step Eight: Quickly (before the fabric unfolds or glue cools), place the button back on top of the glue, securing the fabric ends.

Step Nine: Warning!  The hot glue will make the button back very hot so don’t use your finger to push it into place.  I used my pusher again to be sure the button back was secure and pushed it firmly in place.

Voilah!  Fabric button!

To finalize the headboard, I used my trusty friend again to put glue on the backs of each button then simply placed it on each screw on the headboard.

I gave it a little extra push with my finger for good measure.

It’s held great was SO much easier than sewing the buttons through the headboard.  That’s just nonsense, people.

Happy button making!

Tuft Luck

Hers.

I think every room needs a little glam factor.  Our guest bedroom started out pretty glamorous… for a nursery.

Now before you all freak out, no, my eggo’s not preggo.  The above picture was taken when the sellers were still in the house.  I’m still a little bummed they took the chandelier with them- that was the best part.  They left us with a lovely 80s dome light in its place and the birdcage decals.  Gee, you shouldn’t have… no, really, you shouldn’t have.

We haven’t shown many pictures of the guest room thus far (besides the construction of the bench at the end of the bed- read more here), so I guess we need to do a little catching up.

The guest room actually ended up being one of the first rooms we painted upon moving in since we had all the bedrooms re-carpeted immediately.  And because we’re lazy painters, we wanted to paint while the old floors were still in so we didn’t have to cover them for protection against paint drips.  The bright red color was cute for a nursery- a nice departure from the typical pink used for girls- but it was a little too… well, bright red, especially for a guest room.  So, we went from bright red to a flat sheen of dark gray and softened it with whites and teal as the accent.

The dark gray brought some drama to this mama but I knew something was still missing.  The wall above the bed was an empty void begging to be filled with awesome-ness.

Bedroom… drama… hmm…  I smell a headboard project coming on.

I knew I needed something pretty tall to cover up a lot of the blank space above the bed and I wanted the headboard to be the room’s statement piece.  I was drawn to tall tufted options that included wings on the side that enveloped the bed such as these.

Source: Mix and Chic

Source: Jillian Harris

I was curious what headboards like this cost.  I finally found a pretty close match to what I was dreaming of, seen below.

Source: Ethos Interiors

Unfortunately, it came with two problems:

1. It was from Australia.  I can only imagine what shipping a headboard from across the globe would cost.
2. It was retailing for $690.  Now, I’ve seen plenty of way more expensive headboards but still, $690 was more than I’ve spent on everything in our master bedroom thus far and this room would only get used a few times a year when we had overnight visitors so it didn’t really seem worth it.

I found a few, less exciting, domestic options from the usual suspects but those weren’t any more reasonable.

Source: Pottery Barn, $799

Source: Horchow, $1199

Source: Restoration Hardware, $1465

So, what’s a girl to do?  Buy her husband some beer, suggest steak and potatoes for dinner (it helps if your husband is severely Irish), then sweetly ask his help DIY-ing a headboard masterpiece.  This method has proven 100% effective thus far so, ladies, take notes.

And we were off.

First, I needed to settle on a fabric.  Because I wasn’t 100% convinced this was going to work (not that I don’t have faith in you, honey, but this seemed a long shot even for you), I didn’t want to spend a ton on fabric.  I also couldn’t decide on a color (should I go white, cream, light gray, medium gray, or dark gray) so I decided to let fate decide for me.  At my favorite fabric store, I hit up the remnant section to see what white and gray options they had.  I found one cream option (seen on the right) and one gray (seen on the left) option that were long enough to work.

At $5 a yard (each was 2.5 yards, which they rounded down to 2 costing me $10 each), it was a score.  I thought I’d end up going with the cream option but it ended up looking too yellow against all the white bedding I already had in the room.  I considered completely redoing all the bedding to better coordinate but my conveniently-too-pragmatic husband quickly shot that option down.  So, gray it was.

His.

I’m beginning to think my wife has me figured out: every time she wants something expensive for the house, I end up building something almost identical for a fraction of the cost like the leaning bookshelves seen here and the telescope lamp seen here. Lately I’ve been suspecting that she doesn’t actually want the expensive version, she just wants to scare me into a DIY project by threatening to spend an obscene amount of money on something.

So her latest obsession? A headboard. For the guest bedroom. Now, here’s the thing about our guest bedroom: it’s just for guests. We don’t have overnight guests often and the few that we do have aren’t particularly picky about their lodging (if they were, we wouldn’t invite them to our house). So, frankly, I didn’t see the point. Sure, the space above the bed was empty, but the only time we ever really go in that room is when we can’t find the cat. Either way, Julie tends to get what Julie wants, so I now had to figure out how to make a headboard.

First things first: size. The width pretty much took care of itself as it would be dictated by the width of the bed frame, but we had to decide how tall we wanted it to be on the wall. We ultimately decided that it needed to be 5′, which meant the actual “board” part of the headboard would be 3′ tall. So I started with some plywood:

Cut cut cut!

Next, Julie wanted some “poof” or something, so we looked at craft stores for foam padding. Well, it turns out that I could’ve taken a decent vacation for what it would’ve cost to buy that much padding, but I had a more cost-effective solution in mind:

That’s right, Wal-Mart mattress pads (yes, the same ones that when stacked high enough make dorm beds somewhat tolerable). It was plenty long but barely wide enough, but with a little stretching and clever layering, we hid it pretty well. We even had enough left over from the ends to refinish a small chair.

We used spray adhesive to secure them to the plywood, but due to the porous nature of the pads, it wasn’t the strongest hold.

We added a second because a) we needed the extra thickness and b) cheap mattress pads have weird textures pressed into them to make you think it has some bogus cooling effect or something. Not bad for just $20 for the pair.

I ended up stapling the edges for a cleaner finish and more permanent hold while we positioned the fabric.

And trimmed the excess:

Now, you normally use batting to ensure a smooth finish but we were on a mission of frugality and the cost of batting just wasn’t going to cut it.  We realized that batting was essentially just a thick layer of fibers so we found a cheap-o cotton blanket to help hide any uneven points on the padding. Once again, our trip to Wal-Mart proved fruitful.

This time I flipped it over and stapled it to the back of the plywood so it held nice and tight across the padding:

Ignore the lumpy edges, those hide easily with the final piece of fabric.

The next stage of the process was unexpectedly tedious. We moved things inside for a cleaner, cooler, and lighter work environment. Good thing we have an awkwardly empty space in our living room after all, I guess.

So we draped the fabric over the board and smoothed everything out. What came next was an exercise in patience and dedication: tufting. I don’t know how it’s normally done, but I knew how I was going to do it: screws. But using short screws and washers, I could create that “pressed in” look, and it would hold, like forever.

So I started in the center:

Note: the fabric was draped loosely over the ends of the board so we’d have plenty of slack if we needed it.

Initially I tried measuring where each screw would go but that got old quickly. Plus, the positioning of the fabric would change slightly as I pressed on it to screw it in, so eventually I figured out how to predict where things needed to be and just eyeballed it.

What seemed like years later, I had driven in all 67 screws. Now the weird part: trying to bunch up the fabric into a “diamond-shaped tuft”.

Finally, it was time to secure everything. I didn’t want to flip the board over and crush the tufting, so I had to work from below. Fortunately we have an extra bedroom that is also awkwardly empty, so there was  some soft floor space so I could work on my back.

After stapling all around, we cut off the excess fabric.

We folded a straight line from the end of each tuft off the edge to create a uniform look around all the edges.  We then stapled that tuft to the back of the headboard so it held.

After completing the board, it was time to move on to the posts. I used generic 2×6 lumber but had to be careful to select really straight pieces. Each post was 5′, so I just bought one 2x6x10 and cut it in half.

The process for wrapping the posts in fabric was a bit like wrapping a present, but instead of a box it’s lumber, instead of paper it’s fabric, and instead of tape it’s staples. we also made sure all the staples and edges ended up in what would be the back side of the board, so the nice smooth edge faced outward.

First with the cheap blanket:

Be sure to wrap the ends, too:

Repeat process with actual fabric:

Cut off excess:

Finally, it was time to put it all together. We moved the board to the guest room and laid it on the bed. Then, I set the posts up on the side and had Julie press down while I drilled up. This was actually a really difficult process, and of course Julie decided pictures were more important than being helpful.

Almost done (I only had to chase the cat away 100 times).

Repeat the process for the other side, and your headboard is done. Time to mount it! Fortunately our bed frame had a bracket welded onto it for who knows what, but it had some holes I was able to run some drywall screws  through to secure everything so it didn’t flip over and turn my in-laws into Flat Stanley.

Huzzah! Headboard!

Hers.

We wrapped up the upholstery work and installed the headboard in the room.  I then realized I had a dilemma.  Do I stop here or do I keep going?  Much like Sandro on this season’s Project Runway (anyone else watching this season?), I decided our headboard needed more bling and by bling, I, of course, mean nailhead detail.  After two calls consulting outsiders, one voted for, one voted against, I ultimately decided to go for it.  Oh yes, these side wings were in for a treat.

So while Chris stood beside me, giving himself a pat on the back for finishing another project, I, instead, smiled sweetly at him and asked for his help on the next stage of the project.

And I soon learned a vital lesson- never EVER convince yourself to save a few dollars by buying a case of loose nailhead, thinking you can spend a few extra minutes taking care to line them up straight.  This is the most frustrating, arduous process that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  Chris thought it would help by buying fishing line and nailing it down as a guide to follow.

A great idea in theory but it didn’t execute that well.  Each time we’d nail a head in, it seemed impossible to get it to line up with the fishing line.  At the last second, it would go rogue on us and veer off course.  After an hour spent on this and barely making progress, I decided we could splurge and buy the cheater’s kit aka a nailhead kit that you only had to nail every 10th or so piece aka my lifesaver.

People of the DIY world- spend the extra dough for this.  So. Worth. It.

I bought mine at Michael’s, but here’s a link to buy it from Amazon.

If that doesn’t convince you, it comes with a bonus of packaging that doubles as a cat toy.

After the nightmare of sparring with individual nailheads, this was a breeze.  You just unwrap the string of nailhead from the packaging and cut it off where you need it to stop.  I suggest cutting it to size before you begin nailing it in because the weight from the package makes it harder to install straight.

Next, place the string on the headboard and nail in the heads where there’s a hole in the trim (every 10th head or so).  Tip: use a rubber mallet to nail in the head to prevent scratches.

30 minutes and 2 nailhead trim kits later, I was done!

Stay tuned for an additional post on how we made the fabric-covered buttons to complete the tufted look.

Materials and Costs:

• Fabric (from local fabric store): $10 for the full remnant
• Foam (aka 2 egg crate mattress pads from Walmart): $20
• Batting (aka cheap blanket from Walmart): $5
• Spray Adhesive (any craft store): $0 as we already had some on-hand
• Staples and Staple Gun (any home improvement store): $0 as we already had some on-hand
• Small sheet metal screws (from Home Depot): $3
• Plywood (from Home Depot): $10
• 2x6s to create side wings (from Home Depot): $5
• Washers (from Home Depot): $1
• 2 nailhead trim kits (from Michael’s with 40% off coupon): $24
• Rubber mallet (from Walmart): $5
• Button making kit (from this eBay vendor): $17

Total: $100

After.

 

Update: To see how we made fabric buttons to cover the screws on the headboard, check out our easy, step-by-step guide here.

I Love Lamp.

Hers.

I am officially in mourning.

I have been dutifully waiting for my favorite show “Picker Sisters” to make its comeback… and waiting… and waiting…  It’s been so long that Chris has informed me that it’s most likely cancelled and we should probably delete it from our DVR’s list of shows to record.  Noooooooooooo.

So, I’d like to dedicate this post to the untimely demise of “Picker Sisters”- your time with us was so short, but oh so sweet.  We’ll never forget you…

For those of you who weren’t immediately addicted to the show… or even aware… it was a show where two women traveled the country finding antique items (or, as most people would see it, junk) to transform into functional pieces of home decor.  My favorite transformations were when they turned a car’s fender into an upholstered chair and the irrigation pipe they turned into a light.  See below for pics.

   

I decided to channel my fellow picker sisters and find something of my own to turn from junk to treasure.  Hm, but what to choose…

Well, we needed another lamp in the living room and I knew creating a lamp was going to be easier than upholstering a chair so it was settled.  Plus, it helped that I’ve been lusting after the surveyor’s tripod floor lamp at Restoration Hardware.  Why oh why Restoration Hardware do you tease me with such beautiful products that I can’t even begin to imagine affording?  *sigh

Source: Restoration Hardware, $1395

For those of you who are more of the shopper type than the transformer type, here are a few other, more affordable options.

Source: Rugs USA, $416

Source: Amazon, $379

Source: Pottery Barn, $349

Source: World Market, $119

I was actually tempted to give up on my junk transformation quest when I found the World Market option but I knew the sisters wouldn’t approve.  It at least gave me a price limit to stick to.  The World Market version was $119 for the tripod and another $20 for the shade so if I could make this thing for under $139, my mission would be deemed successful.

When you live in a big city and need to find a random item, you turn to the ultimate urban picking source: CraigsList.  Usually it takes me awhile when I’m looking for something really specific but I must have some good karma stored up because I immediately stumbled across this…

Do my eyes deceive me?!  Telescope tripod?  Vintage?  Cool lamp stand?  SOLD!

Especially since, when checking eBay the antique tripods I found were in the $170-$250 range like this guy.  No thanks.

I immediately contacted the seller and set up a time to go look at it.  As we pulled into their neighborhood, Chris mentioned the area looked familiar.  Then we pulled up to the house and looked at each other, both realizing the same thing.

We had been here before.

We had bought from these people before.

Yes, we had fallen off the edge of the CraigsList map.

So what did we do?  Got out of the car, rang the doorbell, and pretended we were strangers… I don’t think the sellers had the same realization we did.  Maybe we’ll clue them in the third time.

Anyway, I offered $60.  He hesitated until I told him of my noble cause- giving this tripod an exciting second life.  Boom.  Done.

Now I just needed Chris to make this thing functional for me!

His.

I love space. And no, not the “space” they talk about on HGTV. I mean outer space, the space that you literally have to strap yourself on top of a couple hundred tons of explosives and blow yourself off the face of the planet at 23 times the speed of sound to get to, the space that is so massive that the human brain isn’t actually capable of accurately comprehending its size. I got hooked on astronomy in Boy Scouts and have loved stargazing ever since. Every night I look up and admire the beauty of the night sky, and I even get texts from NASA letting me know when I can see the space station fly by.

Hers.

Yup, turns out I married super-nerd.  He sets his alarm for 4 am so he can get a glimpse of this thing for a few seconds.  And then he can’t seem to understand why I have no desire to get up with him and watch a small bright ball of light cross the sky.  It looks just like an airplane people!  Trust me, uninterrupted sleep is the better option here.

His.

So, when Julie told me we were getting a telescope stand, I got really excited.

Well, it turns out that we weren’t going to be using it for any space-related activities. No, Julie wanted to make it a lamp. Whatever, at least I’d get to wire something.

I’ve never made a lamp before, but my sister used to make them all the time as a hobby, so I knew they could be made out of just about anything that can stand on its own. I also remembered her saying that Home Depot has pretty much everything you’ll need, so that’s where we began. It turns out we only needed two things, the socket and the cord:

So, now all I had to do was figure out a way to lampify this tripod by attaching said socket and cord. I wasn’t 100% sure how I was going to accomplish this, but I was 100% sure how a lamp works, so I at least had a starting point: mounting the socket. Fortunately lamp parts are fairly universal so all I had to to was figure out how to secure a piece of lamp all-thread to the top, which basically just means I had to drill a hole in the top. Simple enough, right?

Well, first I had to modify the tripod a bit. It had a little nub on the top where the telescope itself would actually mount, but it stuck up maybe an inch or so. I really didn’t want to bore through that much metal, so I strapped the whole thing to a saw horse and took a sawzall to it (I wrapped it in a towel so the wood wouldn’t get scratched):

Next, I took my Dremel and ground down the rough surface left by the saw:

Next, I had to drill out a hole for the all-thread. All the metal on this thing is brass, so it was pretty soft and easy to drill through. I started with a relatively small hole to make sure I had it centered before stepping it up to a larger bit that was just slightly smaller than the diameter or the all-thread.

Finally, I was ready to start assembling it as a lamp, starting with the all-thread.

The brass was soft enough that the steel all-thread basically tapped its own threads, but just to be safe I ran a small bead of high-strength glue around the base to make sure it stays snug.

Now it was time to wire everything up, which basically just means running the wires through and not reversing the polarity of the socket.

And finally, the moment of truth: let there be light!

Poof. Nothing. But how could this be? I had all new components and everything was wired correctly. Clearly, I needed to consult the experts:

Of course! How could I have made such an elementary mistake?

Just kidding, the derivation of the Stefan-Boltzmann constant has nothing to do with burnt out bulbs.

So, now I had a functioning lamp. Oh, but the shade was warped so I stole Julie’s hair dryer and used it as the world’s worst heat gun.

Hers. After.

Well, I’m glad to be the first home improvement/DIY blog that features a scientific equation… Enough math.  Let’s get to the good stuff.  I love how this lamp turned out and it only cost $91 total.  Here’s the breakdown:

• Telescope Tripod Base: CraigsList, $60
• Lamp Shade: World Market, $19.99 (with $10 off coupon)
• Socket: Lowe’s, $4.98
• 8 ft Cord: Home Depot, $5.98

  

Such a great fit in our living room!  I love how it instantly warms up the space and goes really well with our table lamp.  And I can’t get over the $1300 price savings.  I mean, the sales tax on the Restoration Hardware lamp is even more than what ours cost total to make!

What junk have you guys been transforming into treasures lately?  Has anyone else delved into the lamp-creation process?  I was surprised by how easy it was!  It has me thinking… what else can I lamp-ify?

Another Frame Job

Hers.

Our budget was pretty maxed out after the installation of the granite and new shower so when we got around to the mirror, I knew we had to get creative.

I’ll flash you back to the before.  Oh Hollywood lights, how I don’t miss you.

To recap our demo, we knocked out the furdown and raised the placement of the light.  We thus had a little space to work with around the mirror and decided to frame it with some trim to make it look more custom.

It ended up just looking sad and wimpy though.  The piece of trim we selected created too small of a frame- we needed to beef it up more.  Doing so would make the mirror the focal point of that wall and make it really pop.

To simplify things, we wanted to leave the existing trim up but find an additional piece to place on the inside of the frame.  We chose to go with this guy:

I did worry that the mirror would be too small with all this framing so it took us a few weeks to finally take the plunge.  I have to say, though, it turned out great and we still have plenty of mirror real estate.  If you have a huge mirror on a double sink wall, a big, chunky frame is totally worth the mirror space it takes up.

His.

Mirrors are the ultimate tool of vanity, and this mirror is no exception. For starters, it’s huge. Like, bigger than some rugs. The weird part is that given the way we designed everything, we could now see ourselves in the mirror while showering. And, naturally, everything looks better with a frame around it.

Julie had found a bathroom somewhere online that had a huge framed mirror, and of course she wanted it. The problem with mirrors, though, is that they really are tools of vanity… which means that the prices are absolutely criminal. So, I needed a solution. Cheap.

My first attempt with framing the mirror was actually with casing, a type of trim generally found around doors. Part of the issue was that there are small clips on the sides and tops of mirrors that help hold it to the wall, but they’re too bulky to place the trim over. To work around this, I put gobs of Liquid Nails on the back of the mirror and pressed against the wall. Once it cured, I cut the trim and again used Liquid Nails to glue it to the glass, but on the top and sides I let the trim overhang by about 50%, and then drove nails through it into the wall to help secure everything.

There was a problem: it looked wimpy. It definitely made the mirror stand on its own, but it just didn’t have the classic, bulky look Julie was looking for. So, while perusing the aisles of Home Depot one day I stumbled across the solution: base boards. Granted, these are huge base boards that, quite frankly, I think would look terrible when used for their stated purpose, but they were perfect for what I needed them for.

I did, however, have a bit of a problem: my original framing was not square. Unfortunately, the trim had shifted slightly while the glue was curing and had resulted in something that (mostly) looked square but was slightly off. I decided that the difference was negligible and went ahead and cut everything at a 45* angle anyway, hoping that the end result would look square… well, square enough.

So here’s how things went:

1. Cut trim. I measured at the longest distance for each side and made forward cuts at 45* from those points.

2. Flip over and cut again- I cheaped out and only bought a 10″ mitre saw. Good enough, right?

3. Apply glue to back of trim. Remember, glass is smooth so it’s hard to get things to stick, so don’t be shy- buy extra tubes!

4. Adhere to mirror. This can be a huge pain because most of the time when you press on one side, the other will pop up. In a parallel universe, your anti-self is having the opposite problem (if you don’t get the joke, consult your nearest physics department).

5. Tape until you get a weird frankenstein-looking mirror. Remember Step 4? Again, don’t be shy with the adhesives. Apply liberally.

6. Sand edges between where two pieces of trim meet. This was only necessary because Julie throws a fit if I don’t run sandpaper across every piece of wood I touch.

7. Caulk where edges line up. Remember, putty and paint makes a boat what it ain’t!

8. Paint. See Step 7 for clever limerick.

9. Enjoy!

After.

Hooked on Character

Hers.

As the master bathroom renovations were wrapping up (read more on that process here, here, here, and finally here), I began noticing that something was off.  As much as I was loving the sparkly new shower and luxurious-looking granite, it was beginning to look more catalog and less home-y.  While that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I knew I was craving some good ole character in the space.

It only took a few seconds for me to put my finger on the real problem.  Everything was too new.  Nothing was distressed or worn!  *Gasp, whose house was I in??

Never fear, if it’s one thing I’m good at, it’s finding the good, the old, and the battered.  The idea hit me as we began narrowing down our towel bar options.  There was a shiny, new, brushed nickel towel bar that matched our towel rings and toilet paper holder but it seemed so blah.

Instead, I decided to find decorative hooks to line up in a row.  I wanted something that was unique and would add that piece of character the room was missing.  You’d think finding pretty, unique hooks wouldn’t be that hard.  After hours of trolling Etsy and stores like Hobby Lobby, I only managed to find options that were either too standard/new looking or too expensive.  I was starting to think I needed to reroute my idea.

But then I came across this battered piece in Garden Ridge.

And while one hook was broken, the other three were just what I was looking for.  With an iron look, distress by way of white paint splotches, and the unique scroll-look, I knew I had a winner.

Chris gave me his usual “are you insane” look but knew arguing was a lost cause.  Especially since it was also the cheapest option I’d found at a grand total of $7.99 meaning each hook ended up being $2.67 each.

Compare that with hooks I found on Etsy like the one below totaling $16 EACH (eep!).

Source: Etsy, Alacart Creations

We just had to get rid of the ugly white backing behind the hooks, screw them into the wall, and, voilah!, instant character.

Two hooks looked odd on the wall so we went with three.  Two to hang towels and one to hang the awesome metal “W” I found at a flea market.  Because you can never have enough initials in your home.

His.

This was one of the more complicated sub-projects in the master bath, so I’ve created a detailed step-by-step guide. With the right tools, you can usually finish this in a weekend:

1. Get hooks.

2. Screw hooks into wall.

3. Have a beer.

It can be a daunting task, but it will definitely pay off in the end. Having a distressed thing that you can also hang towels on is a high-end solution to the everyday problem of style vs. being dry.

After.

Shelf Shocked

Hers.

As our bathroom renovation came to a close, we could begin focusing on more of the smaller details, such as what to put on all the walls.  Our newly converted linen closet to cabinet has plenty of storage but I liked the idea of using our now wide open wall for additional storage.

Idea #1: Our first idea was to find a unique piece of furniture with shelves to put against the wall and butt up against the shower glass (opposite side of the shower door).  We found this beautiful piece on a trip to Canton, thinking it would be the perfect solution.

Well, we got it home (it miraculously fit in the car) and hauled it into the bathroom.  Unfortunately, it looked massive in the bathroom and did the exact thing we had just spent a ton of money to fix: made the bathroom look cramped and tiny.  It had to go.

Idea #2: The biggest problem with the piece of furniture was that it was boxy and took up too much room.  I still liked the idea of open concept storage so decided wall shelves would be just the solution.  Open shelving has become the new hottest thing for kitchens and bathrooms and I couldn’t wait to incorporate it into our space.  But first, we had to find shelves.

Well, spoiler alert, we couldn’t find any that were the right depth to store towels yet short enough, taking up minimal space.  So guess who’s newest task was to make me some shelves?

But before he goes off complaining how another project was completed 100% by him, let me show you my involvement… by way of these beautiful brackets.

I didn’t want ordinary floating shelves.  I wanted something unique that would be visually interesting.  I love the look of old corbels for shelves but those can get expensive.  Our local architectural salvage store usually has them priced at $50 and up each.  And I needed four.

Luckily, I found these iron scroll brackets at Hobby Lobby for $7.99 and, of course, bought them on a day they were 50% off.  For 16 bucks for 4, it was quite the deal.

Now, cue the carpenter.

His.

Once we finished the bathroom, Julie announced that we needed to “finish everything,” which apparently meant that we needed to put some sort of storage piece on every wall. On the wall backing up to the closet, Julie wanted to put up some shelves but “couldn’t find” exactly what she was looking for, meaning I knew what she was going to say next: “do you think you could build some?” It turns out that for the first time ever, what Julie wanted was actually… simple. So yes, yes I could build them.

What I was going to build was pretty straightforward: a board set atop two iron brackets. Luckily, Julie wanted a “bulky” look, which meant I was able to use plain, cheap, run-of-the-mill (no pun intended) framing wood- a 2×8, to be exact. $5 and one cut later, I had two shelves.

Now, this wood was meant for ceiling joists rather than shelves, so I had to do a little sanding. I smoothed all the surfaces and rounded all the edges and corners, partly because I didn’t want it to look like it was fresh from a lumberyard, but mostly because Julie would inevitably run into it and I didn’t want any hazardous edges:

Next, I stained them to match the color of the floor. I used Minwax Dark Walnut wood stain and didn’t wipe it off to achieve the darkest color possible. I then sealed it with a satin urethane, mostly for waterproofing.

My only real challenge was convincing Julie that, despite her greatest wishes, drywall could not support an infinite amount of weight, and shelves made of iron and solid wood would have to be mounted to the studs inside the wall. This meant that along that particular wall, they could only be placed in two places. Additionally, the brackets had to be placed exactly 16″ apart, as that is the distance between the wall studs. After a few minutes of debate and deliberation, Julie reluctantly agreed to place the brackets where I knew they had to be. We measured everything out and mounted the brackets, and the boards literally just rest on top of the brackets, no hardware or anything.
BOOM! Shelves.

After.

Our Magic ($5) Lantern

Hers.

I, along with probably every other female out there, am fascinated with lanterns.  Does it strike anyone else as funny that we’ve moved well beyond the time of needing lanterns for light and yet they’re popping up everywhere lately, but as decor instead of the means to see at night?

Sources (top left, clockwise): Z Gallerie, Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, Pottery Barn

As Chris will remind you (over and over and over….), I have no problem purchasing completely useless, non-purposeful, and non-functioning items for the mere reason that they look pretty.  And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

While I can usually get away with that, what I can’t get away from is spending a fortune on these “useless” items.  That said, the lanterns above range from $24-$41 for a small one to $99 to $119 for a large one.  Time to find an alternative.

On one of our many Habitat for Humanity ReStore trips, I found these guys (at $5 a pop) practically pleading me to take them home as my next project.

   

They were so dusty, I couldn’t even tell what color they were supposed to be until we got in the sun.  Turns out they were brass at one point and had rusted into the above state.  I originally planned to transform them and use one as a hanging pendant in our entry but it didn’t look quite right.  I took a second look and knew they’d be perfect to repurpose for the “lantern look.”

Chris worked some voodoo magic to disassemble the lanterns for spraying ease.  Then, they received a quick visit from my friend Mr. Oil Rubbed Bronze Spray Paint, found at any home improvement store. And, voilah, instantly transformed from gross, rusty light to chic lantern.

His.

There are exactly three phrases in the English language that will literally paralyze me with fear: my dad asking if I did my Calculus homework, my mom yelling my first, middle, and last name, and Julie yelling “look what I found!” in a store. This fear manifested itself in the ReStore a few months ago when Julie rounded the corner with an armful of some of the most disgusting lanterns I’ve ever seen in my life. You couldn’t have paid me to take them home, but apparently Julie thought it should be the other way around. Great.

First of all, I should note that these weren’t actually “lanterns” in the classical sense, but rather cheap brass lighting fixtures found outside any 80s or 90s builder home. The term “dime-a-dozen” comes to mind, but Julie had already decided that these could somehow be magically transformed into something that looked like a real lantern. That store isn’t air-conditioned very well and I wanted to go home, so at the time $5 a piece seemed like a reasonable price to pay if it let me leave. I should have saved my $5.

After we get home, it was obvious they needed to be cleaned up. One thing I learned about most lights like this is that they’ve very easy to put together; more often than not, they’re basically held together by one long bolt that acts as a spindle, and everything else is pretty much pressed together. Anyway, I got everything pulled apart and cleaned all the glass panels fairly quickly:

Here’s what the larger lantern looks like completely disassembled:

Anyway, cleaning the metal was going to be a task all it’s own. The corrosion had built up and trapped so much dirt that it was like a cocoon of nastiness encasing the brass, so I filled a bucket with vinegar and let it soak overnight. The next day I had a surface that was at least clean enough to paint, so I hosed it off and partially reassembled it. Time to spray:

I left the old light bulb in there so paint wouldn’t get in the socket.

And reassembling everything (I only lost one bolt!):

Huzzah! New “lantern”. Note that the top is different: I originally put this one together with the intent that it would hang in our entryway, but Julie didn’t like it there so in the “after” pictures you can see the dome and hook I ultimately capped it off with.

After.

As you can probably tell, the lanterns are playing musical chairs around the house until I find the perfect spot.